we have officially lost it.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
