woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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