i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
