Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
