she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
