I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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