Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
