After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I would fuck him just for his dog
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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