I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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