I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
being pregnant is like rehab
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
