is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
