I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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