oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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