You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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