Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
