Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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