Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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