You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
