I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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