i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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