I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
