walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
