he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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