Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
