They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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