i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
