Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
