sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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