I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize