I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
