Do you still have your period?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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