Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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