Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
