you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize