i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
