Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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