Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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