FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
