she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
