Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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