everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
someone owes me an orgasm
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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