Dual....:-)
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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