he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Randomize
