so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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