hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
