the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
