Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
