sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
