Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize