girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
