I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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