on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
