Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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