I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
