i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
