hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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