There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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