Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
