its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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