i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
